


Wrong Pocket, Right Shirt

by roguebowtie



Category: Doctor Who, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Amy and Rory are super, Canton is awesome, Gabe is fantastic, Gen, M/M, Phil has a foul mouth, Phil was a brat, The Doctor doesn't show up at all, adopted phil coulson, alternate history?, homophobic language by angry closeted teen, raised to be an agent the hard way, rating entirely for phil's foul mouth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-22 05:42:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6067285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roguebowtie/pseuds/roguebowtie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before he was Agent Coulson, he was just Phil, a scrappy orphan with a grudge against, well, everyone.</p>
<p>...Which was, of course, when he picked the wrong man’s pocket while wearing exactly the right threadbare t-shirt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wrong Pocket, Right Shirt

**Author's Note:**

> Dramatis Personae:  
> Phil Coulson - mouthy orphan  
> Canton Everette Delaware III - Agent of FBI and friend of the Doctor  
> Gabe Jones - Howling Commando  
> Amy and Rory Pond - Orphanage Owners and friends of the Doctor

 

 

* * *

Phil Coulson was orphaned at the tender age of nine.  The Pond Group Home in New York (where he'd been with his family when his parents were killed in a bank robbery gone wrong) couldn't place him.  Any time he was put into a foster home, he was sent back within two weeks.  One family brought him back in a record two days.  He was sullen, rude,  mouthy, and had no interest at all in playing nice.  He'd loved his parents and, as far as he was concerned, 'replacing' them was off the books.

 Which was, of course, when he picked the wrong man's pocket while wearing exactly the right threadbare t-shirt.  

 It was the t-shirt that kept him from going to juvenile hall.  That worn, threadbare, too small and well loved t-shirt he'd had since he was eight.  It once had been far too big, and now - even on his gangly, skinny teenager self - it had started getting too small.

 (Three of the more recent foster homes, that had brought him back, had done so after he cussed them out like a sailor-born for trying to throw away that shirt with the faded shield motif.  It was his prized possession, given to him by his parents for his birthday along with a visit to Washington DC to see the Captain America exhibit. It had been a life changing experience for the child who would grow up to be formidable in his own right. It was the moment he found a hero other than his dad.  It was the moment he knew what he wanted to be when he grew up.)

 The man had grabbed him by the back of his shirt just after he'd slipped the wallet free, shaken his head, and dragged him to the car.  He didn't demand his name, didn't tell the young teen where he was taking him, he simply put him in the car, locked it, and drove back to a house on the edge of town. Phil, for his part, had his dirty mouth running a mile a minute, demanding where he was being taken that he had rights "y'know", and "This is kidnapping, and you ain't getting shit for me, cos nobody gives a rat's diarrhea'd ass!"

 "Now that's not one I've heard before," the man replied mildly.  "This is not kidnapping, this is intervention.  I am Agent Canton Everette Delware the Third, and you've been missing from the Pond Group Home for a week.  Some friends of mine asked me to track you down."

 "Pft, not fucken likely."

 "You made it to DC; that's impressive for someone your age."

 "Bullshit."

 "Language."

 Phil snarled and turned his head to look out the window.  "So what, you gonna bring me back so they can look all disappointed and try again to fob me off on some unsuspecting family? I don't WANT a new family."

 "No, I imagine not," Canton replied mildly.  "But you're not old enough to be on your own, either - and I know that Amy and Rory only want the best for the kids they're given to help place."

 If they cared so much, Phil thought, then they could just fucken keep him like they did Tony.  He wasn't stupid, there was no comparison to their adult son, maybe twice his age; but if they were still 'young' enough to run a small Home, they were young enough to take him on.  At least they didn't try to be all 'call me mom and dad'. Ugh.

 "Here we are," Canton said, pulling into the driveway of a small house on the edge of what must be a suburb.  "Come on, let's go let them know you're okay."  He went around and opened the door to the car, collaring Phil as he made another break for it.  "Hot shower and good food, Gabe always says there's room for one more," he said, all but dragging the scrappy teen up to the door and into the house.

 "Found him!" he called in as he shut the door behind himself.

 "Good! I'll phone them after supper, food's ready."  A man with dark skin and a warm grin stepped out of the kitchen to greet them.

 Phil frowned, still trying to break Canton's hold.  "Shit, Agents rate butlers or somethin'?"

 "Phil, meet Gabe Jones, who for all intents and purposes is my husband."

 The teen's struggles stopped immediately. "What. The fuck. You're fuckin' queer, Agent?"

 "Strictly speaking?" Gabe teased.

 "Jesus fucking-"

 "Language."

 "Fuck."

 "You seem attached to that word, son."

 "I ain't your damn son!"

 "Upstairs, take a shower, come down and eat. In the morning we'll drive you back to the Home," Canton told him.

 Phil looked sullenly between them, but... okay, the food smelled pretty great. Maybe he'd sneak out in the middle of the night or something.  He _was_ kinda hungry.

 * * *

 "ACK! FUCKING FUCK FUCKERS!"

 "Language."

 * * *

 "Thank God you found him, I didn't know what to do! It wasn't like I could ask you-know-who for help."

 "Are you hungry? You should eat something, we've been so worried about you."

 "How long have you been trying to find him a family?"

 "Years."

 "Where do we sign."

 "You're kidding."

 "We aren't, where do we sign?"

 * * *

 It would be three months before Phil moved in with them.  Three years until he came out to them.  Two more before he joined the army like Gabe had.  Three after that before he met Marcus.

 Eventually, he added Agent to _his_ name, as well.

 

**END**


End file.
